Stage 2:  I am beginning to help

You have been providing support for six  to 18 months.  Your responsibilities range from running errands and paying bills, to providing intensive personal care (showering, dressing, assisting in the bathroom etc).

Stage 2 Keyword: Find.
Find services that help; find support that can comfort; find ways to enjoy your hobbies and interests.

Your Purpose During Stage 2

This is your entry into the caregiving role.  This is your time to experiment, to get your feet wet and see what works.  This is your opportunity to learn how the health care industry works, and to shape your approach to caring.  What duties are you comfortable with? What duties make you uncomfortable?  How well are you and the person you support getting along?  What situations would create stresses for both of you?  What situations should you try to avoid because you know they will lead to arguments?

During this stage, you are also getting  a feel for the financial costs of caring, and what help is (or may not be) available.

It's important as a new carer to keep up with your friendships, hobbies and interests (you may be able only to keep the ones that you enjoy most), ensuring you make a habit of spending time on your own, enjoying yourself.

Steps you can take during Stage 2

1. Learn as much as you can the illness, disease, or condition of the person you support.   Talk to your local support organisations for Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, stroke, cancer, etc.  You'll find many of these in our Caring Community section. 

2. Learn caring skills from health care professionals or from books, websites, and local courses.  If the person you support is hospitalised or receives short-term rehabilitation at a care facility, ask the staff to show you proper caregiving techniques: lifting, transfers, bathing, assisting in the toilet.  Or, search the Internet for hands-on care information. It's very difficult to provide care when you are unsure of what you're doing. You'll feel much better when you're confident of your skills.  We'll have many learning resources at our website by mid 2010!

3. Join a support group, online or in your community.  It can be so isolating to be a carer!  Support groups will hook you up with others in similar situations; often, you'll learn of community resources and options from other carers that you were not aware of. 

4. Take regular breaks from caring.  You can't provide good care for someone else if you don't take care of yourself.  Plan for regular breaks:  an hour daily, an afternoon weekly, or a day monthly (whatever you can manage).  Enlist the help of relatives and community services (such as a volunteer group at your local church) so you can take time off regularly.  Relatives can help in many ways through financial support, regular calls to the person you support, or staying with the person while you go out.

5. Rely on help from community organisations.  Meals on Wheels, home care agencies and day care centers, to name just a few, may offer helpful services in your area.

6. Make plans with the person you support.  Help them to retain as much control and independence as they can over their caring and living situation.

7. Reflect the changes in your journal.  How do you feel now?  What are your concerns?  Fears?  What outcomes are you working toward?  What losses have you noticed during this period?  What changes in the relationship cause you to feel sad?  What changes have given you comfort?