Miranda (not her real name) is a senior official for a government department that has responsibility for implementing New Zealand's Carers' Strategy.

Despite the department's policy obligations, its workplace culture is anything but supportive of the carers it employs, says Miranda, whose 25 year old son Carl needs 24/7 help due to a hereditary disease. Miranda has worked for the department on and off since her son was born. When her marriage ended, Miranda began to rely on paid support for Carl so she could continue working and fund their demanding lifestyle.

Reality check

Eventually the dual demands of her high pressure career and organising Carl's care prompted a rethink for Miranda. At the time she managed dozens of staff and spent weeks a year away from home, employing trusted workers to assist Carl."I realised that apart from the huge financial commitment of using paid carers while I was away, I had become very worn down," she says. "I just couldn't continue at that pace."

Miranda shifted to a less responsible job and now works with a much younger and less experienced team; her boss is 34 years old and has no personal experience of illness or disability. While Miranda knows it is her legal right to ask for a flexible work arrangement (she has done this, and it has been approved), her boss makes it difficult for her to structure time away.

"He doesn't feel comfortable managing an older woman with my experience, nor does he understand about caring. Most of the team I work with are young people who socialise together in their spare time." "I can't easily join them, even though at work I know my professional skills are, on the whole, respected." But she was angry when her boss made disparaging comments during a meeting, and considered lodging an employment complaint.

Miranda decided against this because she likes her job and works away from the office most days. "I don't have to spend much time with my boss, and can live with the situation."

Workplace leadership

Miranda says it is her employer's workplace and management culture, rather than the behaviour of her boss, that makes it difficult for carers to keep their jobs at the department. "This is a workplace that is part of every government consultation, research project, and God knows what relating to disability, but its commitment to the policies it administers is only skin deep"

"The realities of my life, and Carl's, are a universe away from the life experience of my colleagues. At team meetings when they talk about their weekends, or their hobbies or holidays or the scholastic accomplishments of their children, I don't say a word. It's no one's fault, but we have nothing in common." If the department's human resource managers or CEO took a genuine interest in helping staff with caring or disability needs, Miranda says the workplace culture could improve quickly. "All it would take is raising awareness and telling staff the department stands behind the policies it administers. Workers reflect the values at the top of the organisation; they'd soon take an interest in families like mine if their jobs required it."

Limitations

Despite the department's lack of concern for Miranda's caring role, her previous boss focused exclusively on this (rather than her work performance) in her annual review, which consisted of a single paragraph expressing admiration for Miranda's dedication to her son. "Even though no one asks about or displays any obvious interest in Carl, people at work are clearly aware of my situation."

"The only time it comes up is if tasks are being allocated in the team and, without even talking to me, assumptions are made about what I can and can't do because of Carl."

Moving on

Miranda nonetheless looks back on her career with satisfaction. During her time with the department she's completed a Master's degree, travelled overseas many times, is a popular speaker at conferences in her area of specialisation, and has made good friends at organisations she has worked with over the years.

"Strangely, I have more honest relationships with colleagues at other organisations than I do at my own."

"But none of it matters now, because I have decided to leave my job in two years and am organising my life so this can happen."

Reflection

Miranda is looking forward to spending quality time with Carl, whose health is not good due to his disease. "I may still have a part-time job but it will be something frivolous." "I do have such passion for disability issues because of my experiences and it's a pity I can't use this knowledge in my job."

"That is my only regret, and now I'm coming to a time when I can just let everything go ... the long hours, the professional facade, and the constant stress of holding everything together."